My precious friend, Ruilong, passed away on 25 Nov 2011

Received sms from Huiqiang and I didn't know what to think. Although I had been anticipating since Meifeng messaged us on Wed, it just felt like something big had happened and needed my attention. Only after when I reached home and called my mother to inform her, I realised how real it was and broke down after hanging up the phone.

HH and I went to the wake on 26 Nov at 6pm and talked to RL's father. He told us that towards the end, Ruilong felt so much pain and his morale was so down that there was once he said he wanted to end his life by jumping off the building. His brother-in-law also said that whenever the pain was intense, he would bang his fists into the wall or onto his chest. About 2 weeks back, RL told Meifeng that he wanted to rest (to give up and just go).

I couldn't imagine the pain my friend was going through. It must have been very very bad, as it was unlike him to want to give up. My impression of him had always been that he wanted to live on for as long as he could.

According to RL's father, one of the last few things he had said was that he loves his parents and Meifeng. He did not forget to remind his father to announce his death in the obituary the morning he passed away. The brother-in-law, who was just as teary as I was, also mentioned that it seemed Ruilong had been waiting for him to come home before he breathed his last.

Anyway, I am happy for Ruilong to have discarded his wounded, failing body and is now in the arms of Jesus. But I feel sad for Ruilong's parents and Meifeng. Like what Baoli has said just now, being a mother myself, it will be an unimaginable torture to see illness and pain conquering the body of the beloved son whom you have conceived and raised for 36 years.

RL's life is short, but he has achieved so many milestones that I wonder if I will ever achieve in my whole life, if it's going to be longer than 36 years - bringing his parents to Christ, leaving his stable Civil Servant job and pursueing his studies to know God better, helped many people during his hospice attachment in the US, and SO MANY more. And I have witnessed for the first time in my life how someone puts GOD first ahead of his family committments.

I feel honoured to have been given a chance to know RL on a very personal level. He is one of God's best gifts in my life. We grew together, graduated together, saw each other having a bf/gf, discussed our first jobs (both in Semiconductor), him shared Physics teaching resources with me, wished each other the best when we moved on to marriage...I remembered in our friendship the times when we laughed and teased at each other, times when I played pranks on him (like colouring his nails in blue when he fell asleep in LT during a lecture), times when we treated each other to nice, hot, deep-fried drumsticks from the Malay store in Engine Canteen, times when I was impatient with him during our homework discussions, and many times when we discussed indepth theological or philosophical topics. Of course, between the two of us, he was the kinder and gentler friend.

By the way, I remembered the first time we talked about his possible death at Holland Village last year. He said, in this world, it's true that we are living in a chronological order of events as how it has been designed, but in Heaven, there may not be any time-related sequence such as past, present of future. Imagine everything there is just 'present'. If that is the case, it's possible that when he goes to Heaven, he will see the rest of us up there altogether, regardless of when each of us passed away from this world.

There was one SMS from RL that I will always treasure:

Ruilong sms 20 Aug 2011 13:31
Sorry to miss all your calls. I usu reserve evening for my family members and leave hp in my bedroom. I really do appreciate and cherish our rapport and friendship built up over many years and yes, u r some one very dear to me. Each of us has different journey, some r called home sooner than others. We will all meet again in perfected fellowship one day.


On a few occasions, I begged RL to reply to my SMS so that I would know if he's ok. His last SMS:

Ruilong sms 18 Nov 2011 12:02
Inconvenient to converse with you. Want to send u my blessings. May you have a blessed trip.


I have missed a dear, old friend. His faith in our Lord will be a guiding light to me should challenges like cancer strike. I know we will meet again in Heaven and I hope that during the reunion, we will still joke around like we used to.

Meifeng sms 23 Nov 2011 00:09

Thks, Yingyi 4 your prayer support. I just pry n hope that RL can go in peace n doesn't need to suffer in pain should that be his destiny. I have asked n he doesn't wish to be visited from now. Sorry abt that. I wil update you whenever I can.

Meifeng sms 22 Nov 2011 23:48

Hi, Huiqiang/Yingyi, not a very good news to share. RL has become weaker n have difficulties walking. Dr said that he might leave us anytime soon. May God's grace n mercy be upon him.

Ruilong sms 18 Nov 2011 12:02

Inconvenient to converse with you. Want to send u my blessings. May you have a blessed trip.

Meifeng Updates

sms 14 Nov 2011 15:07

Hi Huiqiang/Yingyi, RL is home since sunday afternoon, potassium level is lower, but dr advised need to drink adequately to avoid dehydration again. He's slightly better n feeling more comfortable resting at home.

sms 17 Nov 2011 14:40

Hi Huiqiang/Yingyi, RL was back to d hosp yesterday as he had been vommitting, could not eat and drink much since Tues night. He's much better today after a whole night's drip n rest. He will be discharged tomorrow and please pray that he can eat and drink better when he's home. May God have mercy on him.

Hongheng sms 8 Nov 9:50

Today Chunchun wore a white sweater and carried her little pink umbrella to school. Mother also had her take a little plastic cup filled with Ritz biscuits to eat along the way. So our little girl was happily holding her umbrella and munching on her biscuits on her way to school...

Mommies' tips

Teach kids to be thrifty by commenting on how expensive things are.

Keep making kids drink and finish their water.

Fish oil and multivitamins

Milk intake.

Always pack food for kids since young, since beginning.