The Sentimental Boredmama: 2011

Saturday, November 26, 2011

My precious friend, Ruilong, passed away on 25 Nov 2011

Received sms from Huiqiang and I didn't know what to think. Although I had been anticipating since Meifeng messaged us on Wed, it just felt like something big had happened and needed my attention. Only after when I reached home and called my mother to inform her, I realised how real it was and broke down after hanging up the phone.

HH and I went to the wake on 26 Nov at 6pm and talked to RL's father. He told us that towards the end, Ruilong felt so much pain and his morale was so down that there was once he said he wanted to end his life by jumping off the building. His brother-in-law also said that whenever the pain was intense, he would bang his fists into the wall or onto his chest. About 2 weeks back, RL told Meifeng that he wanted to rest (to give up and just go).

I couldn't imagine the pain my friend was going through. It must have been very very bad, as it was unlike him to want to give up. My impression of him had always been that he wanted to live on for as long as he could.

According to RL's father, one of the last few things he had said was that he loves his parents and Meifeng. He did not forget to remind his father to announce his death in the obituary the morning he passed away. The brother-in-law, who was just as teary as I was, also mentioned that it seemed Ruilong had been waiting for him to come home before he breathed his last.

Anyway, I am happy for Ruilong to have discarded his wounded, failing body and is now in the arms of Jesus. But I feel sad for Ruilong's parents and Meifeng. Like what Baoli has said just now, being a mother myself, it will be an unimaginable torture to see illness and pain conquering the body of the beloved son whom you have conceived and raised for 36 years.

RL's life is short, but he has achieved so many milestones that I wonder if I will ever achieve in my whole life, if it's going to be longer than 36 years - bringing his parents to Christ, leaving his stable Civil Servant job and pursueing his studies to know God better, helped many people during his hospice attachment in the US, and SO MANY more. And I have witnessed for the first time in my life how someone puts GOD first ahead of his family committments.

I feel honoured to have been given a chance to know RL on a very personal level. He is one of God's best gifts in my life. We grew together, graduated together, saw each other having a bf/gf, discussed our first jobs (both in Semiconductor), him shared Physics teaching resources with me, wished each other the best when we moved on to marriage...I remembered in our friendship the times when we laughed and teased at each other, times when I played pranks on him (like colouring his nails in blue when he fell asleep in LT during a lecture), times when we treated each other to nice, hot, deep-fried drumsticks from the Malay store in Engine Canteen, times when I was impatient with him during our homework discussions, and many times when we discussed indepth theological or philosophical topics. Of course, between the two of us, he was the kinder and gentler friend.

By the way, I remembered the first time we talked about his possible death at Holland Village last year. He said, in this world, it's true that we are living in a chronological order of events as how it has been designed, but in Heaven, there may not be any time-related sequence such as past, present of future. Imagine everything there is just 'present'. If that is the case, it's possible that when he goes to Heaven, he will see the rest of us up there altogether, regardless of when each of us passed away from this world.

There was one SMS from RL that I will always treasure:

Ruilong sms 20 Aug 2011 13:31
Sorry to miss all your calls. I usu reserve evening for my family members and leave hp in my bedroom. I really do appreciate and cherish our rapport and friendship built up over many years and yes, u r some one very dear to me. Each of us has different journey, some r called home sooner than others. We will all meet again in perfected fellowship one day.

On a few occasions, I begged RL to reply to my SMS so that I would know if he's ok. His last SMS:

Ruilong sms 18 Nov 2011 12:02
Inconvenient to converse with you. Want to send u my blessings. May you have a blessed trip.

I have missed a dear, old friend. His faith in our Lord will be a guiding light to me should challenges like cancer strike. I know we will meet again in Heaven and I hope that during the reunion, we will still joke around like we used to.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Meifeng sms 23 Nov 2011 00:09

Thks, Yingyi 4 your prayer support. I just pry n hope that RL can go in peace n doesn't need to suffer in pain should that be his destiny. I have asked n he doesn't wish to be visited from now. Sorry abt that. I wil update you whenever I can.

Meifeng sms 22 Nov 2011 23:48

Hi, Huiqiang/Yingyi, not a very good news to share. RL has become weaker n have difficulties walking. Dr said that he might leave us anytime soon. May God's grace n mercy be upon him.

Ruilong sms 18 Nov 2011 12:02

Inconvenient to converse with you. Want to send u my blessings. May you have a blessed trip.

Meifeng Updates

sms 14 Nov 2011 15:07

Hi Huiqiang/Yingyi, RL is home since sunday afternoon, potassium level is lower, but dr advised need to drink adequately to avoid dehydration again. He's slightly better n feeling more comfortable resting at home.

sms 17 Nov 2011 14:40

Hi Huiqiang/Yingyi, RL was back to d hosp yesterday as he had been vommitting, could not eat and drink much since Tues night. He's much better today after a whole night's drip n rest. He will be discharged tomorrow and please pray that he can eat and drink better when he's home. May God have mercy on him.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Hongheng sms 8 Nov 9:50

Today Chunchun wore a white sweater and carried her little pink umbrella to school. Mother also had her take a little plastic cup filled with Ritz biscuits to eat along the way. So our little girl was happily holding her umbrella and munching on her biscuits on her way to school...

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Mommies' tips

Teach kids to be thrifty by commenting on how expensive things are.

Keep making kids drink and finish their water.

Fish oil and multivitamins

Milk intake.

Always pack food for kids since young, since beginning.

Hongheng sms 2 Nov 17:46

When in anger, don't do anything or say anything in anger. Cool down first.

Hongheng sms 2 Nov 17:43

Her kind of arguments are silly and petty. In one year's time we will not remember what the argument was about.

Hongheng sms 2 Nov 17:41

Her kind just wants to return evil for good. I think if you give back, it will only prompt her to want to hurt back even more. Put it this way, in the long term perspective of things next time when you are old or when mother is no longer around, then at least you have a necklace from her to remember her by. If you give back, then there is nothing to remember.

Hongheng sms 2 Nov 17:37

The issue here is whether the both of you should be returning gifts from each other in the first place...One should never return the other persons gift...it is rejecting the good intention of the other person and being rude to the other person. I think there is no need for you to behave as childish and as thoughtless as her.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Birthdays and notes

Dewei 16 Jan
Kenny Feb
Shuzhen 1 Apr
Dad 6 June
Wendy 4 Nov
Mum 13 Nov
Hongheng 7 Dec
Lixiang 26 Dec

http://suprememastertv.com/sos

bvggsaveourplanet@gmail.com

Ngee Ann Poly animated environment video clips

Ruilong sms 29 Oct 2011 19:42

Dear Yingyi, no one knows when I am leaving. I could live for few more years, or if u met a mishap, it could be the other way round. If u have strong urge to talk to me, afternoon betw 2pm-4pm might be preferable. But let me know in advance.

my sms to Ruilong 29 Oct 2011 17:57

Ruilong, I can't believe wat is happening to u and us. I don't understand God's plans. I always feel u r more special than the rest of us, and He has use of u after ur studies. I can't accept u r leaving us, and becoming just my memories. I hvn't been praying to God for you becos it has become too painful. Let me know if I can visit u or talk to u ovr phone at least just one more time.

Wu Shimu address

136C HV ave, #10-03.

Ruilong sms 27 Oct 2011 20:02

I do not know how much time I hv. Cld be five, seven, etc. Only God knows. Live each dayon its own. Jesus asks us not to worry abt tomorrow. We r more precious than a sparrow, our God knows the number of hairs on our head. Cherish and enjoy what we have now. Resurrection is calling me forth, and I will be in the realm of a dimension far better than now.

Ruilong sms 27 Oct 2011 19:18

Pls read my email. U r outdated.

Father sms 24 Oct 2011 11:43

Linda, my taiwan psprt no is 135067748, exp 17 Aug 2015. father

Hongheng sms 17 Oct 2011 9:12

Dear bao, Chunchun woke up today and immediately asked where's mama. I explained that we wanted her to sleep longer so we didn't wake her. So she got up, had her bread and proudly showed her new shoes to Mother before going to school. She was in good mood, describing the clouds in the sky as cotton wool.. Our dear meimei....

Ruilong sms 13 Oct 2011 14:13

The wounded healer is one of his best. I highly recommend it.

Ruilong sms 5 Oct 2011 20:54

Pls don't buy anything for the visit on Fri. I may just postpone the visit if I am too tired in the evening. Hope you guys r mentally prepared.

Hongheng sms 5 Oct 2011 12:15

Dear bao, for the NZ trip, I pay for u and kids, u can pay for ur parents.. Bao can save rest of ur connect plan.

Hongheng sms 5 Oct 2011 12:15

Dear bao, for the NZ trip, I pay for u and kids, u can pay for ur parents.. Bao can save rest of ur connect plan.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 13:38

A prayer req: in last three weeks, I experienced sharp pain from a region near my left lung when I lay down for too long. Hope to find out why when consulting oncologist nxt wk. Pain is so sharp I wld wake up and let out a small scream. Pray that none of my blood vessels wld burst and put me into coma.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 13:22

Will be too big. Concentration will diffuse. Keep to three at the most. The rest will b later if we have the chance. Thanks for the arrangement.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 13:10

I assume Ruiyan and you will be coming. Wld u mind inviting Huiqiang along? I don't know when we will see each other again after this Fri.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 12:15

I may not have the energy to talk to you after 10 min walk. You initiated the walk, not me. You also suggested half hr visit, not me. What I wanted was an hr visitation where we can sit and talk. Can you see that you are asking people to meet your needs?

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 12:10

We are not ready to meet yet.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 12:10

Let's drop the idea of home visitation.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 12:09

You are thinking mechanically again. A cancer patient needs rest. If i walk for 10 min, i will need to nap for abt an hour before regaining energy.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 12:06

Pls drop your silly idea. That will make me even more tired.

Ruilong sms 4 Oct 2011 12:03

My walk in park is only 10min. If both of u r coming to visit me, i suggest betw 8.30pm-9.30pm. Pls keep it to an hour.

Hongheng sms 3 Oct 2011 8:56

Our dear boy who loves windmills and turning things and spinning objects.. We must remember these things and tell him when he grows up.

Ruilong sms 1 Oct 2011 12:59

My walk is at night. Will get bk from u when u pass by my place. I could meet u downstairs but u r also welome to my home at Taman Jurong.

Ruilong sms 1 Oct 2011 12:53

Thanks for asking. I appreciate these brief occasional txt msg. I just sent an update last night, hope u all hv better idea how I m coping. Btw, I wld like to get Huang Yingying's bk back from u. How r u doing? My residential area is surrounded by haze. Is your area affected?

Hongheng sms 30 Sep 2011 8:53

Dear bao, Chunchun woke up when I went to her to get things for her school. She sat up in bed quickly even tho I almost never made any noise at all. Then she mumbled about going to our bed to sleep beside mama. So I said to her to go. And she got down from her bed and walked there by herself.. Our dear silly mei.

Hongheng sms 26 Sep 2011 9:16

Dear bao, today kids ok. They were sleeping when mother arrived. When I was about to leave, Chunchun woke up and walked out, messy hair, rubbing eyes. She declared to mother that she promised u that she would be a good girl. Then she sent me off at the door.. silly mei.

Hongheng sms 22 Sep 2011 8:02

Photo with Chunchun holding bread.

Dear Chunchun with two ponytails and her favourite nutella bread.

Hongheng sms 20 Sep 2011 9:05

Dear bao, after u left when I returned to the house, Luixing was standing in the dining area, under the jigsaw. I went over to pick him up and placed him back on Chun's bed. After a while when I checked on him back, he was asleep again, silly boy. Next came Chunchun. She suddenly woke up and then found that she did not say goodbye to u and was upset. She cried and cried, wanting me to carry her around the house. When I could not do so since I had to do things around the house, she continued crying. She finally calmed down after I was able to tend to her. From then she was ok, and ate two slice bread.

Hongheng sms 19 Sep 2011 9:44

Dear bao, Mother and Father both came in the morning. Father with his lugguage. Mother still very unwell.. was sitting on the sofa with eyes closed when she was done with kitchen. Father will leave around noon or one pm. When I said I try to see whether I can come back earlier in pm, mother said never mind in case boss minded. Chunchun was ok today.. just a bit sleepyhead still.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hongheng sms 14 Sep 09:04

Dear bao, Chunchun ok today. Mother allow her to wear socks to PCS. Chunchun then wore pink socks then wore her white sandals. She pulled her socks high high. When Mother tried to pull down, Chunchun insisted they be high and pulled them up again. Mother said to her this is old man style. She was happy when I said bye to her, even told teachers at door that she stayed in hotel..Our dear little girl..

Ruilong sms 9 Sep 2011 13:38

My left foot us infected and i still can't walk with my left foot. I will be admitted to hospital later when there is bed vacancy.

Ruilong sms 8 Sep 2011 13:30

I hv two doctors. One from hospice, takes care of my pain management. The other is oncologist. Not sure what u r asking. Will talk more to u another day. Thanks for upholding me in prayer.

Ruilong sms 8 Sep 2011 13:19

Yes, intense pain and possibly due to infection, as the fluid that drained out is protein not absorbed by body. A nurse and doctor from hospice service will drop by later to check on me. I m less inclined to TCM after this incident.

Ruilong sms 1 Sep 2011 15:14

Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. Fear of?

Ruilong sms 29 Aug 2011 12:44

With the little flour and oil that the widow had, God provided her need through Elijah, and 1Kings 17:15 writes 'And she went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days.'

Ruilong sms 29 Aug 2011 12:36

Though Meifeng and I do not have significant income, in the last few months, we have witnessed how God has provided for our needs despite my high medical expenses. I believe when the time comes for us to apply for financial assistance, God will also honour our needs too. This is a journey of faith and trust.

Ondori Pte Ltd yarn

No 8 Jalan Kilang Timor, #01-06 Kewalram House, Singapore 159305.

Penny: 97677229

Ruilong sms 20 Aug 2011 18:39

3rd chemo cycle has started two days ago.

Ruilong sms 20 Aug 2011 13:31

Sorry to miss all your calls. I usu reserve evening for my family members and leave hp in my bedroom. I really do appreciate and cherish our rapport and friendship built up over many years and yes, u r some one very dear to me. Each of us has different journey, some r called home sooner than others. We will all meet again in perfected fellowship one day.

Ruilong sms 18 Aug 2011 22:32

I have limited breath. Cannot hold long conversation.

Ruilong sms 18 Aug 2011 22:27

You have done enough for me.

Ruilong sms 18 Aug 2011 19:12

Want to let u know that my CT scan yesterday shows further spread of tumours. Bones affected as well. I m given 3rd type of medication, and asked to prepare for the worst. I m also referred to HCA hospice care, with given prognosis of up to 7 weeks. I do not wish to entertain any more visitors but would like to spend remaining days with my family members.

Ruilong sms 15 Aug 2011 17:09

Have received your CD. I am very touched. Will listen to it in a while.

Ruilong sms 15 Aug 2011 11:00

Thanks Yingyi. Sorry to misunderstand you. I m in turmoil and pain.

Ruilong sms 15 Aug 2011 10:57

Yingyi, right now I think I need prayer support, words of comfort and strength more than anything else.

Ruilong sms 15 Aug 2011 10:41

Blk 157, Yung Loh Rd, #16-36, S(610157).
Yingyi, I hope one day u will break free from your materialistic mindset, though I very much appreciate your tots.

Ruilong sms 12 Aug 2011 20:41

Please cancel our appointment tomoro. I m vomited twice today. I prefer to stay at home tomoro to monitor my condition. Hope u understand.

Hongheng sms 3 Aug 2011 10:00

Yes he did. The smelly grinning baby. He stumbled out, smiling. Then he disturbed Chunchun when she was trying to get back to sleep.

SGH sms 28 July 2011

Reminder from SGH, appt on 4 aug 14:30 at Clinic C, blk 3 basement 1. 63214377

Ruilong sms 17 July 2011 11:03

Prone to vomitting in the last one week, so better stay at home. Can't imagine vomitting in Indoor Stad. Rdg my financial needs, it differs for every mth. For e.g. This mth has radiotherapy, can incur up to 1k. My med costs 7k plus per mth, 5k out of my own pocket. But then I still have savings and few others have also contributed to my needs thru love offering. So I can't give exact figures.

Ruilong sms 13 July 2011 21:30

Want to share an exciting news with you: both my parents accepted Christ while my church pastor and his wife were visiting me just now!

Hongheng sms 8 July 2011 9:44

Dear bao, today Chunchun very happy about going Underwater World. She put on her hat and backpack soon after she woke. Mother came at 7.30am and found this little girl very cute. She insisted I take some photos of Chunchun before leaving. You can see the photos in our camera when u are back. Our dear little meimei..(Luixing did not wake up by the time I left-very rare!).